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Log inRoll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
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Rulyon
Bigkahuna
Saima
Zerovirus
8 posters
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Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
Zerovirus Thu Apr 14, 2011 9:57 pm
From the author of the hit R2D, Prismpunk, where the name of the game is creativity and awesome...
Comes a horrible hellhole of a game unlike any other ever seen before. It is a land of depravity. It is a place of terror. You will be flung into your worst nightmare, and there will be no redemption. Nothing awaits you but the bliss of an eternity under the cold, packed earth- and even then, you will not survive.
Players:
1: Saima
2: Bigkahuna
3: FLAMELASHER
4: Rulyon
5. FoolishBalloon
This may last for a really long time. This may not last long at all. We'll see how it works out. This won't be quite as detailed or intensive as Prismpunk; rather, it is a lighter form of entertainment. I fully expect that anyone can just jump in without having to read a ton of backstory or gameplay systems. This will definitely be a somewhat slapstick game. The only similarity this will share with Prismpunk will probably be a level of ridiculousness beyond anything you have ever seen.
For there are no Gods here. I am your God.
Welcome to Hell.
Comes a horrible hellhole of a game unlike any other ever seen before. It is a land of depravity. It is a place of terror. You will be flung into your worst nightmare, and there will be no redemption. Nothing awaits you but the bliss of an eternity under the cold, packed earth- and even then, you will not survive.
The Gods Are Not Present Here.
Players:
1: Saima
2: Bigkahuna
3: FLAMELASHER
4: Rulyon
5. FoolishBalloon
- Backstory:
You are proud soldiers of Richland. Trained with honor and trained well, you were deployed after the King of Richland decided that he wished to expand his empire's conquests. The nation of Richland is the most powerful, the most decadent, the greatest land in the world. Gold flows through the streets, and liquid silver is more common than water. The best of wines are but mild in your lands, and a great peace has come over Richland, blessed by the gods.
The benevolent King of Richland has long enjoyed success in all endeavors, be they military or personal, and he thought no less when he confronted the final land, unconquered by any of the great empires before him.
The King of Richland set his eyes upon the Nation of Assholia.
And so, you proud troops of blessed Richland were deployed, sent off with cheers, wine, and beautiful women the night before your march. Atop majestic horses you traveled into the land of Assholia...
Assholia.
They call it a hellhole. The men of Assholia are savages, monsters, barely fit to be considered human beings. Their main palate is decomposed turkey gruel, buried under the earth and recovered, rotting and stinking, the next day, for exposure to the air itself rots these savages' prey. They consume horrible, ground almost-fit-to-be-called-bread-but-not-quite material tasting like nothing so much as finely ground sand crystallized into a tooth-shattering crystal. Their water is poisonous, and something in the grass turns all livestock into volatile, bulbous, rotten masses infested with flesh-eating bacteria.Their land is infested with monstrous things, and so their civilization has regressed and fallen back into ignoble states. They have no military or leadership, and their population is not even a third of your army.
It should be an easy conquest.
And so a day later you and your friends find yourselves sitting, huddling underneath a tent (embroidered with fine silver thread and rubies, made from the hands of the most skilled clothiers of the southern lands, of course, as befits a soldier of the blessed Richland), trying to avoid a downpour of rain.
War in the name of Richland definitely wasn't all it was chalked up to be, and one thing is for sure-
Assholia hates you. All of Assholia, down to the very subatomic particles that make up fundamental existence, hates you with a burning passion embedded into its very core nature.
You sit and pray to your gods...
But let's not get ahead of ourselves, shall we? Your story begins now.
- Gameplay:
There is no magic in this setting. None whatsoever. Technology is poor without any firearms having been developed, but the men of the Richlands are decadent and they have all sorts of resources at their disposal. Even the poorest man of the Richland lives a life equal to that of a prince in the medieval world, and everyone is garbed with exquisite uniforms or dress clothes. Pearls, gold, silver, all sorts of valuable things are commonplace for Richlanders; the streets are forged of solid gold, and the bricks are made from pearl powder compressed into blocks. Richland is decadent, and the inventory of characters from Richland will reflect this.
On the other hand, NPCs from Assholia... Well, you'll see in a while. All player characters, however, will be from Richland.
Combat, as in Prismpunk, uses a D20, with 20 being a critical and 1 being a failure. There are no overshots in TGANPH (The Gods Are Not Present Here). Combat will be much more realistic than Prismpunk; overall, this game will be much more conventional than Prismpunk. To that end, please keep your action length within a reasonable limit.
Your characters begin with basic survival skills; things like firelighting, rope-climbing, and the usual boot-camp training can be taken for a given. Skills are generally weapons-related, and use an XP system in which every time you use a weapon in combat you gain XP in that weapon equal to your roll for that attack.
Praying will not help you in this game. Any action would be better than that, in the world of Assholia.
This is a very very very low-fantasy setting. Roleplaying will still be focused on here, but this is not an epic tale of heroism and power. This is the exact opposite of epic. This will be horrible. The world is out to get you. The ground wil eat you. The trees will strangle you. Breathing the air will destroy your lungs. Don't even mention the giant ticks the size of bears, or the crocosharks that hide in rivers and swamps.
Hope you guys have fun!
- How to Sign Up:
Fill out the form below:
All characters are males, and a character name is not necessary. Yeah, I just changed my mind, but I think it'll streamline the game a bit and allow me to focus on what I'm aiming for.
Inventory (Put whatever you want here as long as you can reasonably carry it. Remember, Richland is really really opulent, so instead of saying "ten foot rope" say something like "ten foot rope entwined from the skins of thousand-year-old snakes from the western jungle and pure gold string". The crazier the better!)
Weapons Proficiency (Select a type of weapon. Try to limit yourself to the usual medieval fare, and make sure you include your weapon of choice in your inventory above.)
Each player leads a regiment of 100 people; when all 100 soldier-underlings are dead, the player must begin to act on his own. New players will arrive with another regiment of 100 people. Your actions may be broken up into 2 parts: Command, where you give orders to your troops, and Character, where you give orders to your character. This may function similarly to a Major/Minor system in that you can only do one thing per action at once.
Each soldier-underling begins with an opulent backpack, an opulent saber, an opulent crossbow tipped with diamond bolts, and an opulently trimmed iron cuirass decorated with images of bravery and greatness, as well as enough rations to last a month and some basic water-purifying tools.
Consider your soldiers meatshields in this game- use them to scout and build stuff and to protect your character. When your character dies, it's all over- and your remaining soldiers, if any, will be split among the other players. Bear in mind that this gives players a reason to engage in inter-player conflict.
Only four players at a time for this game.
This may last for a really long time. This may not last long at all. We'll see how it works out. This won't be quite as detailed or intensive as Prismpunk; rather, it is a lighter form of entertainment. I fully expect that anyone can just jump in without having to read a ton of backstory or gameplay systems. This will definitely be a somewhat slapstick game. The only similarity this will share with Prismpunk will probably be a level of ridiculousness beyond anything you have ever seen.
For there are no Gods here. I am your God.
Welcome to Hell.
Last edited by Zerovirus on Sat Apr 16, 2011 6:32 pm; edited 6 times in total
Zerovirus- Gamemaster
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Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
Saima Thu Apr 14, 2011 10:06 pm
Edit: I reposted this in a few posts
Last edited by Saima on Fri Apr 15, 2011 9:07 am; edited 4 times in total
Saima- Gamemaster
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Age : 26
Location : Ontario
Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
Zerovirus Thu Apr 14, 2011 10:07 pm
Totally acceptable!
MAJOR EDIT: I removed a requirement for a character name. You'll be going by your forum account names in this (not-too-serious) game.
MAJOR EDIT: I removed a requirement for a character name. You'll be going by your forum account names in this (not-too-serious) game.
Zerovirus- Gamemaster
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Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
Bigkahuna Thu Apr 14, 2011 10:15 pm
Richland? Assholia? Really?
I'll try this out... If you don't mind me being in both of your games, that is.
Inventory:
•Ridiculously opulent halberd: the blade itself is made out of red gold and encrusted with emeralds. The handle is made from the teeth of the extremely rare Albino Spider; they're two inches long and have only two teeth. Yeah, it took a long time to make this. The outside is half-gilded in spirals of rubies laid in strips.
•All of my armour is coated with glittering spacedust from the neighboring moon.
•Boots made of platypus feet and covered in gold leaf.
•Rope made out of the silk of the, again, rare Albino Spider. Same spiders used to make the halberd. In the process of making these two items, the Albino Spider was driven to extinction.
•Canteen made of eel skin and re-inforced with titanium for no apparent reason.
•Two throwing knives made of... steel. Nothing special, but they're painted blue.
•A heavy, vellum map of the known world.
•A compass. The outside of it is made entirely of the pointy ends of toothpicks, sealed together with dried pineapple juice. The rest is made of iron and such -- just a normal compass.
Weapons Proficiency: Halberd
I'll try this out... If you don't mind me being in both of your games, that is.
Inventory:
•Ridiculously opulent halberd: the blade itself is made out of red gold and encrusted with emeralds. The handle is made from the teeth of the extremely rare Albino Spider; they're two inches long and have only two teeth. Yeah, it took a long time to make this. The outside is half-gilded in spirals of rubies laid in strips.
•All of my armour is coated with glittering spacedust from the neighboring moon.
•Boots made of platypus feet and covered in gold leaf.
•Rope made out of the silk of the, again, rare Albino Spider. Same spiders used to make the halberd. In the process of making these two items, the Albino Spider was driven to extinction.
•Canteen made of eel skin and re-inforced with titanium for no apparent reason.
•Two throwing knives made of... steel. Nothing special, but they're painted blue.
•A heavy, vellum map of the known world.
•A compass. The outside of it is made entirely of the pointy ends of toothpicks, sealed together with dried pineapple juice. The rest is made of iron and such -- just a normal compass.
Weapons Proficiency: Halberd
Bigkahuna- Worldmaster
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Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
Zerovirus Thu Apr 14, 2011 10:16 pm
This is the kind of inventory I want to see from people! I think I cracked up 3 or 4 times reading that. Great work, Bigkahuna- you're accepted!
Zerovirus- Gamemaster
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Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
Rulyon Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:17 am
•Flanged Mace of Mother Nature's Tears. The shaft is made of pickled fish-lips encased in diamond resin hardened in a paper-burning forge for six weeks. The weighted head is composed of compressed unicorn hooves...compressed by being sat upon by gestational elephants in labor. The flanges are alligator bones, left rear pinky toe only, powdered and also mixed in diamond resin. The entire shebang is then encased in Titanium, gold plated, then encrusted with alternating Sapphires, Peridots, Emeralds, and Rubies.
•Lonbow Made of Birch Injected with Liquid Silver and a String of Finely-Woven Gold and Platinum Thread Strung with Pearls.
•Arrows Made of Redwood with Obsidian Arrowheads and Rare Pygmy Mockingbird Eyebrow Feathers.
•Canteen of Silk Woven so Tightly As To Obtain Water-Proof Threadcount, Capped with a Stopper Made of Rubber Made From the Sap of The Tree of Eternal Life.
•Golden Sextant with Lenses of Crystal-Clear Diamonds Carved By Trained Spider Monkies.
•Common Yo-Yo of "No Visible-Purpose" Containing a Finely-Crafted Miniature Music Box That Plays a Random Song from a Selection Which Includes (But Certainly Not Limited To) Happy Birthday, The Funeral March, Beethoven's Fifth and Ninth Symphonies, Baby Got Back, Devil Went Down to Georgia, and a B Sharp Arpeggio When "Yo'd".
•Brass Knuckles, Except They're Made Of Solid Emerald and They Are Claws, Sharpened With Freshly Caught Sharkskin Hides.
Weapon Proficiency: Longbow
•Lonbow Made of Birch Injected with Liquid Silver and a String of Finely-Woven Gold and Platinum Thread Strung with Pearls.
•Arrows Made of Redwood with Obsidian Arrowheads and Rare Pygmy Mockingbird Eyebrow Feathers.
•Canteen of Silk Woven so Tightly As To Obtain Water-Proof Threadcount, Capped with a Stopper Made of Rubber Made From the Sap of The Tree of Eternal Life.
•Golden Sextant with Lenses of Crystal-Clear Diamonds Carved By Trained Spider Monkies.
•Common Yo-Yo of "No Visible-Purpose" Containing a Finely-Crafted Miniature Music Box That Plays a Random Song from a Selection Which Includes (But Certainly Not Limited To) Happy Birthday, The Funeral March, Beethoven's Fifth and Ninth Symphonies, Baby Got Back, Devil Went Down to Georgia, and a B Sharp Arpeggio When "Yo'd".
•Brass Knuckles, Except They're Made Of Solid Emerald and They Are Claws, Sharpened With Freshly Caught Sharkskin Hides.
Weapon Proficiency: Longbow
Last edited by Rulyon on Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:24 pm; edited 1 time in total
Rulyon- Avid Roleplayer
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Join date : 2011-02-21
Age : 39
Location : Fort Worth, Texas, USA
Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
FLAMELASHER Fri Apr 15, 2011 9:02 am
Inventory:
Emerald Armour encrusted with gold trim, and mithril chainmail holds the parts together and a wingbeat unicorn fur underlayer keeps it comfortable
Emerald Full Helmet with a large slot to see through, encrusted with gold trim and a wingbeat unicorn fur underlayer to keep it comfortable
Gold-hilted jagged dragonclaw sword covered in goldium, it has wrapped Wingbeat Unicorn fur around where it is held for extra comfort
Emerald shield encrusted with gold dragon patterns with ruby eyes, with the inside and handle cover made of wingbeat unicorn fur and the handle's inside is emerald.
Golden scabbard encrusted with emerald dragon patterns with ruby eyes
Wingbeat unicorn fur belt, with leather from the mythical abt-size red cow of blackwing island (most dangerous non-assholia place on planet) for the inside a slot where I tie on my scabbard
Wingbeat Unicorn skin backpack covered in emeralds to make it look like armor, and encrusted with gold trim, that contains:
12ft woven gold and emerald rope with a dragonclaw hook tied onto the end by dragon heartstrings
10 slices of steak taken from Wingbeat Unicorn (that are virtually weightless) and coated in the wine
10 diamond bottles of finest wine, made of grapes from the heavens and with emerald names on the bottles
Wingbeat Unicorn fur blanket with an inside made of finest wool to keep out the heat, it is worn as a cape when not in my tent
Wingbeat Unicorn fur pillow stuffed with finest feathers
Diamond steak knife with emerald dragon adorning the handle that have ruby eyes
Diamond fork with the above pattern
Diamond spoon with the above pattern
Flint and steel covered in ashes and heated in dragonbreath to make the ultimate fire
Weapons Proficiency:
Sword and Shield
Crazy enough? (BTW, the Wingbeat Unicorn's population was halved making my inventory)
Emerald Armour encrusted with gold trim, and mithril chainmail holds the parts together and a wingbeat unicorn fur underlayer keeps it comfortable
Emerald Full Helmet with a large slot to see through, encrusted with gold trim and a wingbeat unicorn fur underlayer to keep it comfortable
Gold-hilted jagged dragonclaw sword covered in goldium, it has wrapped Wingbeat Unicorn fur around where it is held for extra comfort
Emerald shield encrusted with gold dragon patterns with ruby eyes, with the inside and handle cover made of wingbeat unicorn fur and the handle's inside is emerald.
Golden scabbard encrusted with emerald dragon patterns with ruby eyes
Wingbeat unicorn fur belt, with leather from the mythical abt-size red cow of blackwing island (most dangerous non-assholia place on planet) for the inside a slot where I tie on my scabbard
Wingbeat Unicorn skin backpack covered in emeralds to make it look like armor, and encrusted with gold trim, that contains:
12ft woven gold and emerald rope with a dragonclaw hook tied onto the end by dragon heartstrings
10 slices of steak taken from Wingbeat Unicorn (that are virtually weightless) and coated in the wine
10 diamond bottles of finest wine, made of grapes from the heavens and with emerald names on the bottles
Wingbeat Unicorn fur blanket with an inside made of finest wool to keep out the heat, it is worn as a cape when not in my tent
Wingbeat Unicorn fur pillow stuffed with finest feathers
Diamond steak knife with emerald dragon adorning the handle that have ruby eyes
Diamond fork with the above pattern
Diamond spoon with the above pattern
Flint and steel covered in ashes and heated in dragonbreath to make the ultimate fire
Weapons Proficiency:
Sword and Shield
Crazy enough? (BTW, the Wingbeat Unicorn's population was halved making my inventory)
Last edited by FLAMELASHER on Fri Apr 15, 2011 6:43 pm; edited 3 times in total
FLAMELASHER- Gamemaster
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Join date : 2011-02-17
Location : England
Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
FoolishBalloon Fri Apr 15, 2011 9:15 am
I'm on. Wanna secure this place, so inventory in a sec 
Inventory
Backpack made of diamond cloth (Diamonds are crushed to dust, then corroged by Rubyuim Acid. After that does the gas be gathered in a golden bottle where it after a time condenses to Diamond strings that the best diamondclothmakers on the Earth (and Mars) makes into a cloth. Then, the best backpackmakers in the world makes a backpack of it) full off:
Liquid platinum that has been made drinkable and kept very cold so it is good to drink.
Shield made by Ruby-Shields crushed to pieces and then forged together with Diamond Glue.
Sword made from sharpened Tiger Fangs.
Crossbow of Dragon Scales reinfroced by Silver Threads
100 Golden arrows with sharpened Spider Teeth. The arrows are foldable, so they are only 1 inch big each until I fold them out. The Spider teeth are hollow and filled with Richland Poison, the most dangerous poison in the world.
10 meters of rope made by 98765 years old mumies nails and reinforced by solid sea.
50 kg Gunpowder made by dead soldiers eyes that are ripped out and dried, then crushed in a bottle of Mithril until only dust is left. That dust is put in Rubyion Acid and when the both things touch each other does a kind of cream creates. That cream will be mixed with Platinum Strawberries and then together dried and lastly crused to powder.
Best weapon or whatever it was called, I don't remember ^^
My ultimate crossbow
Enough fantasy?
Inventory
Backpack made of diamond cloth (Diamonds are crushed to dust, then corroged by Rubyuim Acid. After that does the gas be gathered in a golden bottle where it after a time condenses to Diamond strings that the best diamondclothmakers on the Earth (and Mars) makes into a cloth. Then, the best backpackmakers in the world makes a backpack of it) full off:
Liquid platinum that has been made drinkable and kept very cold so it is good to drink.
Shield made by Ruby-Shields crushed to pieces and then forged together with Diamond Glue.
Sword made from sharpened Tiger Fangs.
Crossbow of Dragon Scales reinfroced by Silver Threads
100 Golden arrows with sharpened Spider Teeth. The arrows are foldable, so they are only 1 inch big each until I fold them out. The Spider teeth are hollow and filled with Richland Poison, the most dangerous poison in the world.
10 meters of rope made by 98765 years old mumies nails and reinforced by solid sea.
50 kg Gunpowder made by dead soldiers eyes that are ripped out and dried, then crushed in a bottle of Mithril until only dust is left. That dust is put in Rubyion Acid and when the both things touch each other does a kind of cream creates. That cream will be mixed with Platinum Strawberries and then together dried and lastly crused to powder.
Best weapon or whatever it was called, I don't remember ^^
My ultimate crossbow
Enough fantasy?
Last edited by FoolishBalloon on Fri Apr 15, 2011 4:53 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
johnratchet3 Fri Apr 15, 2011 9:39 am
May I join this madness? Been laughing my face off from the inventories alone... I realise I'm 5th here so it's no probs if you don't have the time.
EDIT: Flame, how many unicorns have died for you already?
EDIT: Flame, how many unicorns have died for you already?
Last edited by johnratchet3 on Fri Apr 15, 2011 9:44 am; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
Saima Fri Apr 15, 2011 9:42 am
Hey foolish. Unfortunately, I think we already have 4 players. (I joined on the first post, and am re-writing it here) I could be wrong, however.
I see that my inventory is well outclassed by the others in many terms, so I'll be re-writing it here.
Inventory:
I may add a little more in a while, before the plot starts.
Weapon proficiency: Thrown objects
Edit: Added some more items
I see that my inventory is well outclassed by the others in many terms, so I'll be re-writing it here.
Inventory:
- Breastplate
This incredible creation was first designed by head seamstress Quarron. It is made out of pressed Ilantinos (a very rare ore, royal purple when smelted)) and lined with plucked koala hairs, making it not too hot, while maintaining a level of comfort on the battlefield. - Rope
This rope is made out of the hair from several gnomes. Oh, did I mention they were hairless gnomes? And the rope was crafted by baby crocodiles, albino baby crocodiles. - Helmet
This helmet is made out of 10 and a half bars of infinite +1 steel, from a magical smithy. This magical smithy creates one bar of infinite 1+ steel each decade, which are treasured and loved through generations. You ransacked their stores, and stole the 10 bars available. Don't ask how they got the last half of a bar. - Throwing knives (x5)
These knives are made out of pure obsidian, which was mined from the bowels of the earth by 1000 monkeys in a small, confined room, with no pickaxes. - Pants
Woven from the finest cotton (who says silk is rare on this planet?
) and re-enforced with Ilantinos, these pants show off royal purple and gold colors. Adorning them are hand-woven embroideries of my face, as they were specially designed for me. - A small hat
It is very pretty. - Drinks
A full bottle of "Ye Olde Mineral Water", 1 miniature bottle of rum, 2 red cans of a yet un-named popular cola. - Bracelet
Made out of a blend of emerald and silver, with "Gozmadia Relphon Somphi" engraved in it. What that means, nobody knows. - Boots
Made out of sheep bones, and lined with sheep wool. The bones are taken from baby albino black sheep, and crushed into a fine powder. That powder is then blast-heated in a similar process as glass is made. Once shaped, it shines a spectacular eggshell white. - Apple
In case I get hungry
I may add a little more in a while, before the plot starts.
Weapon proficiency: Thrown objects
Edit: Added some more items
Last edited by Saima on Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:57 pm; edited 4 times in total
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Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
Zerovirus Fri Apr 15, 2011 4:35 pm
Rulyon: Most of that works, but there's no magic in this game so there's no "tree of eternal life" if you're hoping for magical abilities. Same goes for your enchanted yo-yo.
FLAMELASHER: You have way too much stuff- maybe cut out a third of your weight. Steak and stuff is heavy in large amounts- not to mention that precious metals are poisonous when consumed.
Foolish: I doubt the whole "ripping out leg bone of king" would work. That's a level of opulence even greater than what I'm defining in this setting. 100 million arrows (the whole Goldium poison thing is rather ridiculous in terms of gameplay balance) and 100 meters of rope would be way too heavy to carry on your person, not to mention that there's no gunpowder in this setting- no guns or cannons, siege weapons are ballistas and catapults only at this point.
Saima: I think I liked your previous version of an itemlist better. You seem to be starting to bend into powergaming territories with the magical throwing knives what magically transform things into gold. Also note that despite your quantifying statements, your +1 helmet will not actually give you a +1 bonus for rolls
As a general guide, you want basically a normal adventurer's equipment set except with ridiculously-decorated descriptions. Items won't be any more effective if they're covered in gold leaf and moonsnake-skin than if they're just normal bows. In other words, the opulence is for fluff, not actual gameplay bonuses. And whatever you do, you do NOT want to eat gold dust. Remember there's no magic either.
FLAMELASHER: You have way too much stuff- maybe cut out a third of your weight. Steak and stuff is heavy in large amounts- not to mention that precious metals are poisonous when consumed.
Foolish: I doubt the whole "ripping out leg bone of king" would work. That's a level of opulence even greater than what I'm defining in this setting. 100 million arrows (the whole Goldium poison thing is rather ridiculous in terms of gameplay balance) and 100 meters of rope would be way too heavy to carry on your person, not to mention that there's no gunpowder in this setting- no guns or cannons, siege weapons are ballistas and catapults only at this point.
Saima: I think I liked your previous version of an itemlist better. You seem to be starting to bend into powergaming territories with the magical throwing knives what magically transform things into gold. Also note that despite your quantifying statements, your +1 helmet will not actually give you a +1 bonus for rolls
As a general guide, you want basically a normal adventurer's equipment set except with ridiculously-decorated descriptions. Items won't be any more effective if they're covered in gold leaf and moonsnake-skin than if they're just normal bows. In other words, the opulence is for fluff, not actual gameplay bonuses. And whatever you do, you do NOT want to eat gold dust. Remember there's no magic either.
Zerovirus- Gamemaster
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FoolishBalloon- High Gamemaster
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Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
FLAMELASHER Fri Apr 15, 2011 4:54 pm
Halved my wine and steak and made the steak from a weightless animal, and added a new way of carrying my cape.
FLAMELASHER- Gamemaster
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Location : England
Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
Saima Fri Apr 15, 2011 5:23 pm
Updated my inventory. Sorry, I got a little overzealous with the creative process
Yes, I know the +1 wouldn't work, it's just for flavor.
When will the game start?
Yes, I know the +1 wouldn't work, it's just for flavor.
When will the game start?
Saima- Gamemaster
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Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
FLAMELASHER Fri Apr 15, 2011 6:37 pm
johnratchet3 wrote:May I join this madness? Been laughing my face off from the inventories alone... I realise I'm 5th here so it's no probs if you don't have the time.
EDIT: Flame, how many unicorns have died for you already?
Roughly 50 for my Inventory, but another 50 for my stuff at home.
FLAMELASHER- Gamemaster
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Location : England
Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
Zerovirus Fri Apr 15, 2011 6:44 pm
FLAMELASHER wrote:Halved my wine and steak and made the steak from a weightless animal, and added a new way of carrying my cape.
...I don't think you quite understood me when I said that this setting was Low-Fantasy, No-Magic, and Realistic.
Zerovirus- Gamemaster
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Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
FLAMELASHER Fri Apr 15, 2011 6:49 pm
Mostly weightless. Very light.
FLAMELASHER- Gamemaster
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Join date : 2011-02-17
Location : England
Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
Rulyon Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:12 pm
The Tree if Life was named opulently, not for magical properties. Sybolically similar to The White Tree of Gondor in Middle Earth. I hadn't I tended any bonuses. I'll change my "enchanted yo-yo" to one containing a finely crafted miniature music box.
Rulyon- Avid Roleplayer
- Posts : 611
Join date : 2011-02-21
Age : 39
Location : Fort Worth, Texas, USA
Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
Zerovirus Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:19 pm
FLAMELASHER wrote:Mostly weightless. Very light.
Sorry, but I don't think I can let that pass. There's no way something like that even begins to approach realism, not if you want the steak to be filling at all. You need matter to burn in your stomach when you eat food, you know.
The game will begin when all players finalize acceptable inventory tables. Hopefully that won't be too far off, and maybe even today.
Zerovirus- Gamemaster
- Posts : 383
Join date : 2011-02-16
Age : 30
Location : Chiral -
Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
FLAMELASHER Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:48 pm
Okay, 5 pieces of steak. Or 10 emerald tins of beef jerky.
FLAMELASHER- Gamemaster
- Posts : 727
Join date : 2011-02-17
Location : England
Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
Zerovirus Sat Apr 16, 2011 6:30 pm
- Spoiler:
- Alright, I guess we're starting. Foolish still has a few things that I'm not too satisfied with, like the drinkable platinum (really?) and the dragon scales. Still, the ridiculous decorations are only for fluff and don't affect gameplay, so I'll just change the drinkable platinum to water filtered with platinum cloth put inside a platinum container, and the dragon-scale crossbow to snake, lizard, and tortoiseshell crossbow.
This game's going to be a bit more macro-scale than other games. In combat, just say "I attack" or "I defend", instead of going into detail about tactics. In this regard the game is the exact opposite of Prismpunk. Similar systems will be used with building construction and other issues.
One healthy soldier eats 1 unit of food and 1 unit of water per day. Keep this in mind.
As suggestions, you can either expand into unexplored tiles or you can do other strategy-game-sort-of-things. Generally, you'll need resources such as wood and stuff to explore other tiles.
Don't forget that orders you give to your troops are different from orders to leader characters. Your leaders will have gameplay similar to the usual roleplaying-adventure game, while your troops will be played more like a strategy game would.
Turns are divided into Morning, Evening, and Night- you generally only give commands in the morning, while in the evening the results of your orders come through and in the night special events may happen.
Day 1: Morning
The first day in these accursed Assholian lands. You can't wait to smash the barbariansm out of the natives and introduce them to the true way of civilized life, indeed. As the sun peeks out from the horizon, so too do you peek out from the edge of your tents. You quickly dress, and crawl out of your respective tents to be greeted by your loyal soldiers, already prepared for a day's hard work.
"Sirs!"
You lazily gesture back at your troops. "Morning, soldiers. What's today's objective for territory clearing?"
"We are to clear at least 4 tiles of Assholian resistance fighters today, honored generals."
"Well, that's good then! Saddle up, soldiers, and move out!"
"..."
"We generals have given you orders, soldiers. Saddle up!"
"Sirs.. Um."
"What?"
"...All our horses got, uh, they disappeared."
"WHAT?"
"The only ones left are lying on the ground over there- and they don't look too good."
You walk over to inspect them, and the horses don't look so much like horses than blobs of mutated flesh, pulsating green sacks that leak gross-looking foam from what used to be their mouths.
Four hundred blobs of mutated flesh.
All leaking foam.
"...Well."
"Also, sir- some of the soldiers have been getting sick from the water. Apparently, we're not used to some of the minerals in the Assholian environment, and it's tainting us and making us sick. We have switched to drinking the water we carry with us, but that may not last."
"...That's not good either."
"Finally, sir, Richland's tactical advisors lost track of the Eighth, Ninth, and Twenty-fourth Cleansing Troops last night. We suspect they may have fallen prey to, uh, resistance guerrillas."
"I see. Has Tacticom given us specific instructions for civilizing tiles?"
"No, sir. We may simply proceed to any tiles in any direction save south, as we came from the south. We must however take at least 4 before the end of the day."
Well, that's good to know, what with it being your first day and all.
So what do you do, would-be-conquerors?
Status Report:
You have camped on an open field with 400 diseased horses.
To your north are open fields.
To your south are open fields.
To your east are open fields.
To your west is the edge of a forest.
It is rainy today.
You have camped on an open field with 400 diseased horses.
To your north are open fields.
To your south are open fields.
To your east are open fields.
To your west is the edge of a forest.
It is rainy today.
>What do you do about the horse problem?
>What do you do about the drinking water problem?
>Which tile configurations will you civilize today, and where will you deploy your men and leave your leaders?
- Saima:
Saima currently possesses:
Ilantinos-ore Breastplate
Gnomehair Rope
+1 Helmet
5x Throwing Knives
Royal Purple Pants
Small Hat
Assorted Drinks
Engraved Bracelet
Sheepboots
Apple
Saima leads 100 healthy soldiers with Morale at 100%.
Saima has 3000 units of Food and 300 units of Water.
- Bigkahuna:
Bigkahuna currently possesses:
Ridiculously Opulent Halberd
Platypus Boots
Albino Spidersilk Rope
Titanium-Eelskin-Canteen
2x Steel Throwing Knives
Vellum Map of Known World
Compass
Bigkahuna leads 100 healthy soldiers with Morale at 100%.
Bigkahuna has 3000 units of Food and 300 units of water.
- Rulyon:
Rulyon currently possesses:
Flanged Mace of Mother Nature's Tears
Opulent Birch Longbow
Obsidian Arrows
Silken Canteen
Golden Sextant
Musicbox Yoyo
Emerald Knuckleclaws
Rulyon leads 100 healthy soldiers with Morale at 100%.
Rulyon has 3000 units of Food and 300 units of water.
- Flamelasher:
Flamelasher currently possesses:
Full set of Emerald and Mithril Armor
Opulent Sword w/ Golden Scabbard
Emerald Dragonshield
Wingbeat Unicorn Belt
Wingbeat Unicorn Backpack
Heartstring Rope
10x Ridiculously Costly Victuals Including Unicorn Steak and Wine
Opulent Dining Set
Flint and Steel
Flamelasher leads 100 healthy soldiers with Morale at 100%.
Flamelasher has 3000 units of Food and 300 units of water.
- FoolishBalloon:
FoolishBalloon currently possesses:
Diamondcloth Backpack
Water Filtered By Platinumcloth
Ruby Shield Bound with Diamondglue
Tigerfang Sword
Reptile-shell Crossbow
100 Golden Arrows
Mummynail Rope
FoolishBalloon leads 100 healthy soldiers with Morale at 100%.
FoolishBalloon has 3000 units of Food and 300 units of Water.
Last edited by Zerovirus on Sat Apr 16, 2011 7:03 pm; edited 7 times in total
Zerovirus- Gamemaster
- Posts : 383
Join date : 2011-02-16
Age : 30
Location : Chiral -
Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
Saima Sat Apr 16, 2011 6:33 pm
I'm sorry, but did I miss something?
I was under the impression that I had fixed the issues with my inventory.
If I simply misunderstood something, please say so. I feel a little confused.
I was under the impression that I had fixed the issues with my inventory.
If I simply misunderstood something, please say so. I feel a little confused.
Saima- Gamemaster
- Posts : 636
Join date : 2011-03-08
Age : 26
Location : Ontario
Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
Zerovirus Sat Apr 16, 2011 6:35 pm
I actually forgot to copypaste your inventory in from my word file. Sorry about that! Should be fixed now.
Zerovirus- Gamemaster
- Posts : 383
Join date : 2011-02-16
Age : 30
Location : Chiral -
Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
Saima Sat Apr 16, 2011 6:37 pm
Oh. Thank god. I was a little worried there for a second 
So, generals. What shall we do about these problems?
I'm thinking that we should attempt to take over the forest, as it may supply
A) Wood, and other materials
B) A source of food and water
However, I may not be thinking outside of the box enough for a game like this.
So, generals. What shall we do about these problems?
I'm thinking that we should attempt to take over the forest, as it may supply
A) Wood, and other materials
B) A source of food and water
However, I may not be thinking outside of the box enough for a game like this.
Saima- Gamemaster
- Posts : 636
Join date : 2011-03-08
Age : 26
Location : Ontario
Re: Roll to Survive: The Gods Are Not Present Here
Zerovirus Sat Apr 16, 2011 6:45 pm
Well, right now you're just deciding which general direction to proceed in. You could also dig down for resources as well, though I don't think digging -another- well in much the same location will help you much. Don't worry, the fun stuff starts next turn...
Zerovirus- Gamemaster
- Posts : 383
Join date : 2011-02-16
Age : 30
Location : Chiral -
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